At 8:30 this morning I kissed Jackie goodbye. He had refused to eat anything since Wednesday. He hadn't peed in 24 hours even though he was drinking large quantities of water, and as soon as he'd drink the water he'd throw it up. He didn't sleep a wink last night he was in so much discomfort and he was pooping blood, so the time had come to let him go. When the vet sent me home on Wednesday I thought he had weeks or months left, not days.Today I spent the day going through photos of the last 2 1/2 years to make a photo album that is a slide show at the bottom of this post - it has a ridiculous 600 photos in it, and when I was going through the pictures I could really tell that in the last couple months Jackie was really slipping away. I just didn't notice, or I didn't want to acknowledge it. Things that he used to really love - his little toys - and cheese - he had zero interest in whatsoever, so I should have known the end was coming.
Not only a dog, but no sentient being deserved a life like Jackie had to put up with for most of his life - starting out in an abusive home where the husband beat the wife - and probably him, then being shuffled from foster home to foster home because they didn't understand his temperament - only to end up with a hoarder and having to fight for his food everyday and have an abuser as an owner who didn't care at all for any of his medical needs.
But somehow he lived through it all and I was blessed to have him for almost 2 1/2 years - I got to see him blossom, see his heart open up, I got to see Buttercup try to initiate play with him - and him never ever understand what she was trying to do, right to the very end.
And right to the end his need for love was so simple, all he ever wanted was his head rubbed and his face washed, and he was happy. He was a good little dog who loved to be noisy, and today my house is way too quiet.
I hope that Jackie is having some peace, with 2 working eyes, 4 straight legs, and all the processed cheese that he can stomach. He was a a good boy and I miss him so much.
Oh, I am so sorry. It is terrific that you allowed him a good life, though, and that his last few years were the best they could possibly be. The very worst thing about dogs is they never live long enough. The very best thing is the love and joy they give us.
ReplyDeleteJoan,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Jackie. He really was an amazing character wasnt he!
I am so glad he had the time with you and was able to find himself again!
I can imagine your time together was stuff that will tug your heart forever...
Hugs to you Joan.. thanks for being there for Jackie!
*SOB* i love you Jackie. i am so happy you knew nothing but love for the last 2 years of your life. The just and unjust both receive my tears
ReplyDeleteso sorry to hear about Jackie. Thankfully his last years were full of love and cheese! Our hearts go out to you and your babies who will miss him.
ReplyDeleteJoan I'm so sorry to hear about Jackie. You became his world, his everything. His life only began when you made him part of your family. Know in your heart that you were the best thing that ever happened to him and when he needed you most you were beside him still.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
Janet
Joan, condolences on the loss of your beloved Jackie. I echo everyone else and say I'm so glad he has known what a good life could be like in the last 2.5 years with you. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteLisa
Sorry to hear about Jack. You gave him a few good years. He must have been thankful for that.
ReplyDeleteJoan, I am so sorry about your loss. It must have been so hard to see him in such discomfort. I know the good memories of him will help you get through this had time.
ReplyDeleteIt's awful what we as humans do to animals, out of our own selfishness. I am so glad Jackie was able to find a caring, loving, accepting home in his final years. He must have been so happy to be at peace, living with you.
So sorry about Jackie's passing Joan. I never met the little guy but I loved the photos you would post of him.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure when the time is right you will give another little dog in need a great home.
My condolences on Jackie's passing. He is an adorable, beautiful doggie, and the love you gave him shows in every photo.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, and all the doggie updates. Your fluffs are well-loved.
My heart is breaking for you - we both know Jack was indeed lucky to have you in his life at the end - good things come to those who wait and I firmly believe he is in an even better place now.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Joan. Puck was the same way with his diabetes and watching him fall over for the umpteenth time served to remind me that when I took over care of his life, I made the unspoken promise that when he wasn't having any more fun I would send him on his way as peacefully as possible. Jackie was lucky to find you and I'm sure that the last years of his life, with love and a full belly, were the best he'd ever had. Sending healing thoughts along to you all.
ReplyDeleteKaren B
Jack was in heaven the day he went to live with you. Very sorry for your loss, I know how much you will miss him. He endured much but in the end he found the kindness and love he deserved. RIP Jack. Susan C.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read about your loss. You continue to be an inspiration to many dog owners for what you do and what you believe in. Thank you for allowing Jack to experience the blessings of a good home and a loving owner.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if you would like to honour Jack on the dogs4ppp in memoriam section.
Deepest sympathies
Trent & Dexter
Oh, Joan - we are deeply saddened to hear of Jack's passing! You had an amazing 2 1/2 years with him - never enough time, no matter how long they share our lives.
ReplyDeleteWe have lit a beautiful candle to guide him safely on his journey.
Dogspeed, Jack.
(((hugs)) your friends
Oskar, Schatzi & Xena
Joan...I know that no words I will say will make things better or easier or will take even an ounce of your pain away. But on behalf of Jackie and all of the dogs that I see on a regular basis who are abused and neglected and treated like they are less than nothing...Thank You. Thank You for each moment that you gave him that was peaceful and easy. Thank You for every second of unconditional love that you gave him. Thank You for letting him be the soul that he was always meant to be...even for just a short time. So many like him don't get that chance. He was one of the lucky ones.
ReplyDeleteTracy
So sorry for your loss Joan.
ReplyDeleteJack had the best years of his life with you.
ReplyDeleteHe lived the moment, and the moment was good.
Very sorry for your loss. 'Till you meet again.
Viktor