At 8:30 this morning I kissed Jackie goodbye. He had refused to eat anything since Wednesday. He hadn't peed in 24 hours even though he was drinking large quantities of water, and as soon as he'd drink the water he'd throw it up. He didn't sleep a wink last night he was in so much discomfort and he was pooping blood, so the time had come to let him go. When the vet sent me home on Wednesday I thought he had weeks or months left, not days.
Today I spent the day going through photos of the last 2 1/2 years to make a photo album that is a slide show at the bottom of this post - it has a ridiculous 600 photos in it, and when I was going through the pictures I could really tell that in the last couple months Jackie was really slipping away. I just didn't notice, or I didn't want to acknowledge it. Things that he used to really love - his little toys - and cheese - he had zero interest in whatsoever, so I should have known the end was coming.
Not only a dog, but no sentient being deserved a life like Jackie had to put up with for most of his life - starting out in an abusive home where the husband beat the wife - and probably him, then being shuffled from foster home to foster home because they didn't understand his temperament - only to end up with a hoarder and having to fight for his food everyday and have an abuser as an owner who didn't care at all for any of his medical needs.
But somehow he lived through it all and I was blessed to have him for almost 2 1/2 years - I got to see him blossom, see his heart open up, I got to see Buttercup try to initiate play with him - and him never ever understand what she was trying to do, right to the very end.
And right to the end his need for love was so simple, all he ever wanted was his head rubbed and his face washed, and he was happy. He was a good little dog who loved to be noisy, and today my house is way too quiet.
I hope that Jackie is having some peace, with 2 working eyes, 4 straight legs, and all the processed cheese that he can stomach. He was a a good boy and I miss him so much.