When I was on the deck this afternoon tearing up the linoleum that I removed from my living room floor last weekend I realized something about myself that's never occurred to me before. I have a dreaded condition that was coined by the great Dr. Jerry Seinfeld who did most of his clinical research in the 1990's when he came upon the condition that torments tens-of-thousands of women around the world just like me - an incurable genetic disease called: Man-hands.
The part of me that you'll see the most on this blog is my hands - and I've never thought about the fact that I've been showing the world my genetic malformity - my size 10 reasons why I'll never get a opposite sex mate. Oh well. Maybe someone out there can handle my shame.
An excerpt from Seinfeld, October 1996:
Jerry: She had man hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology. I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had no hands at all?
Jerry: Would she have hooks?