Some really funny stuff

I get a lot of emails, and some of them are funny, and some of them I find SUPER funny. I got this one tonight and maybe it's because I've been inside all day because here in shang-ri-la we've been hit with a nor-easter and I didn't go to work today because of that (storm day) and for some reason while I was very deeply working on a new website, someone came along and shovelled my driveway. I have no idea who did it. Where else but in shang-ri-la could that happen... can you tell me?

Anyway, back to the funny email. Here it is - I have bolded the ones I found particularly funny:

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile!

You don't quit laughing cause you grow old, you grow old cause you quit laughing.